Looking for the sake of looking

I’ve started getting emails from concerned folks that NEEEEED to know how I’m doing. My mother even sent me a video email the other day to explain what a poor son I’ve been and how she is becoming an internerd to spite me. A video email?!?!? I know I’m talking about my mother here but no one is attractive on a USB webcam. That is unless you are nekkid, thankfully my mother hasn’t learned this yet.

When I say you have to be nekkid to be even remotely attractive on a webcam. Mind you, I meant YOU, any web nekkidness on my part might be considered an act of terrorism, akin to trying to smuggle more than 3 ounces of toothpaste on a plane.

Now did I miss something or has instant messaging lost its charm? I miss the sheer innocence of convincing some young girl that it’s her great idea to remove her shirt and fondle her funbags. I mean everybody is twittering what they are doing like masturbating with Tourette’s, I don’t think anyone’s listening to you. I may be just as guilty of that one… the masturbating that is… to hot midget erotic models… maybe.

Recently I spent a little time exploring all these social networking sites that are bookmarked on my computer. I’ve watched the evolution of social networking and every site claims more people and more features, but I have to admit the most fun recently has been OKCupid. Originally called “The Spark” the online IQ test was their claim to fame. The girl and I mostly log on now hunting unicorns. I know how mythical that creature can be so I’ve settled just to find a few like-minded folks to have the occasional beer and spirited conversation…. A much less elusive endeavor.

So um, yeah… I’m going to need your screenname, please slip into something more comfortable…