Dumbass

After Wednesday’s hijinks I find that the area around my little toe has some kind of sprain. I told Amy it was near my ‘metacarpal’, she laughed saying, “Your meta’TARS’als are in your feet, it’s easy to remember, just think of ‘toes’, your meta’CARP’als are in your hand, like as in ‘seize’. Without missing a beat, or for that matter thinking, I said, “OK, like in seize a carp”?

carp.jpg

“No Chris, as in the Latin ‘carpe'”

It was at that point I realized sometimes when Amy corrects me I can almost hear the silent “,dumbass.” that replaces the period.

As for Wednesday’s hijinks, my injuries are coming along nicely. The swelling has gone down and the wounds have all scabbed over. Apparently, the same can’t be said for some of the people in attendance. I’ve heard through a rumor mill that I might have pissed a few people off with comments I shared throughout the night.

I can only say, I’m sorry I’m leaving so soon before these people got to hear anything truly offensive instead of the buckets of praise I poured upon that young girl’s loins. If anyone spoke thusly of Amy, I’d hit it twice, HARD, just for them.