Celebrity Genius

I can’t even begin to tell you how awesome the opening ceremonies of the Olympics were, I am trying not to be all gay and stuff, but was near tears there. The closing ceremonies were no less amazing. If you were to interpret the imagery there I can only assume that they plan on taking over the world with large wheeled bicycles.

These guys have put every other Olympics to shame. And at an estimated 60 billion dollars it’s unlikely another country will come close any time soon.

As the Olympics closes, I realize the media will have a whole new group of medal-wielding idols to impress some assumed intelligence upon. The next thing you know, these athletes who have committed their whole being to some physical endeavor will soon be considered celebrities and assumed experts on a range of topics. As if they are more likely to have developed a more informed opinion than the average mouth-breathing American.

Here’s a perfect example, Michael Phelps, after years of hard work, continuous practice and exercise has won eight gold medals in a single Olympics and attained world records in seven of those events. Earning lifetime ‘fuck you’ rights and finally a sweet pay day in endorsements. He’s now under attack for accepting endorsements from McDonald’s and Frosted Flakes. It’s not like he’s endorsing sitting on the couch and playing XBox for 16 hours a day which I assure you is as much a contributor to my morbid childhood obesity.

Hey Michael Phelps, if you come across any ‘child obesity advocates’ giving you shit, I suggest you just tell them to “Suck it” and beat them with a sock filled with Olympic gold medals.

Frosted Phelps

Someone asked me about my photochopping skillz, I explained that for me, photochopping is like sex, if it takes more than 15 minutes and doesn’t make at least one person laugh, I want no part of it.