A Mediocre Life

I admit, the last few months I’ve been a bit more of a consumer than producer. It’s not that I haven’t had profound and hilarious things to say, I’ve just found it much more gratifying to mumble them into a pint of Boddington’s than post them on the internet. It’s also had a bit to do with this weather. This is the first time in 3 months the temperature has reached 60 degrees. I now realize why bears hibernate through all this white stuff.

I tweaked my back recently which due to the mysteries of the human body led to a good deal of chest pain. You may not know this but when a 350lb whining baby complains about chest pains people get nervous, numbers get dialed, lights flash, sirens blare, adhesives stick to chest hair… and who wants that shit? So, I’ve been seeing a Physical TheRapist, if you’ve ever been in the service of a PT you know that they are definitely wearing the wrong uniform for the job. She cured me, I no longer complain about my chest pain, I know better now… Mistress.

Dr. Ira Pebois

The truth is, the last four to five years have really devolved into an experiment. When I moved back to Orlando, I told the nurse that I wanted to attempt to have a real relationship. I wanted to experience a normal life, I wanted to know what ‘rush-hour traffic’ is all about, I wanted to go to work like a regular person, regular car, regular house, regular problems, a real regular life.

I think I got my wish, as awkwardly as usual, but now what? Give me a hint!