Monthly Archives: January 2009

UNC Clinic

OK, so I rarely mention current events here but sometimes these things just write themselves.

Over the weekend the UNC basketball team held a clinic for Special Olympics athletes.

This is also known as ‘Recruitment Day’.

I’m sorry, that is cheap. However, if true, I have some other suggestions for potential athletes.

Anyway, to apologize, here’s another potential Tarheel.

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If I were President!

“If I was president,
I’d get elected on Friday, Assassinated on Saturday,
Buried on Sunday, Then go back to work on Monday.”

— Wyclef John

As we approach the inauguration there has been a lot of armchair presidents sneaking out of their basements. Everyone seems to have their own belief in where our new President should place his concern. I propose he be concerned with EVERYTHING!

I fear that without the kind of radical reversing of our current course, we can only assume that we may find this generation’s Thomas Jefferson waiting to take action…

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.”

— Preamble to the Declaration of Independence

This, of course, is the point where I throw my own 2 cents in and tell you what kind of world I would like to live in, seriously…

If I were president…

My Domestic Policy…

  • No man or woman should be allowed to pose their will on another, violating body or property should be dealt with in kind and without delay or excuse.
  • No American should ever be without a meal and a bed (edit) regardless of circumstance. I believe in state sponsored boarding and a temporary work program and placement for all that desire to aspire to more than a communal bed and meal. If someone is homeless, it is not because they fell through the cracks.
  • The more crowded this world gets, it seems harder to find true connections with people. Civil unions should not be hindered on the basis of race, religion, gender or sexual orientation. And certainly not for the sake of unbalancing someone’s delicate and immoral sensibilities (Note Bullet Point One)
  • Unborn children are just that, unborn, and carry no rights until they are no longer solely dependent on that single human being that is bearing them.

My Foreign Policy…

  • We need to reinforce our message of democracy by not imposing our will on another sovereign nation without the agreement or better yet, the participation of a majority of nations.
  • Canadian companies are required to exhaust all domestic resources before seeking any foreign import, this includes products and labor. I don’t think it would violate free trade to have the same policy.
  • A nation cannot wage war on an ideal or an act or apparently a drug. We’ve proven this to be the case over and over again.

Economic Policy

  • Spending $700 billion dollars to bail out banks that have been fiscally irresponsible while balking at the same $700 billion invested in the nation’s infrastructure is asinine.
  • A free market means that you give corporations all the rope they need to hang themselves and when they do you let them wither and die irregardless of the consequences to be replaced by smarter corporations.
  • There is no way to progress as a country if we keep fixing broken and outdated ideas, we must break free of the old and embrace new, solid, and worthwhile technologies for the future.

This my fellow Americans is my decree…

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Floridians stop invading my new state!!!

I was going to talk about furries, but I realized they really get enough shit already. Floridians? Not so much.

I have noticed an uncomfortable amount of Florida License Plates up here on the roads these days. And I can tell you I’m not at all happy. I mean I still have friends in Florida (and I miss you all dearly), but I left there to experience ‘not fucking insane’ and honestly, I’ve never felt more at home.

But due to my friends and family, I often keep up on the news in Florida, here are a smattering of headlines from the last few days…

Having read this latest news, I’m not at all sorry I left and if you live in Florida and were truly a friend of mine, you would escape as well before ‘they’ get you, I don’t care where you go, but seriously, FARK dedicated a category to Florida, don’t you get it yet?

In related news, my mother got gay married, or at least as gay married as one can get in Florida. Which brings me to even more disturbing news, the girl and I are planning to get married in Miami this year. She is aiming for September 9th so I don’t forget 09-09-09. Personally, I’d prefer the more binary 10-10-10, not simply because it’s a year farther away but it is the binary number for the answer to life, the universe, and everything. But it appears I can no longer distract her with jewelry. Besides, I gotta make her an honest women before she gets swept away by some hero on OKCupid.

BTW, I recently discovered I have fans, certainly being terribly self-centered I Google myself constantly. Since I have long lived in the shadow of a certain famous Mr. Universe, I find emulation highly flattering. I am however, not at all concerned that my fans appear to be mostly catty Greek queers including this suave fag (warning untethered dicks).

That is all for now…

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