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I was anonymously chastised recently for not keeping up to date with the latest Hot Scientists. Truth is I’ve been very busy with work, buying a new home and pursuing my own degree, so please people, give me a damned break. I didn’t even think people read this tripe.

Regardless, apparently the latest científico caliente is a hot Material Scientist named Neri Oxman. She’s a PhD out of MIT with a specialty in some kind of adaptive material design, she’s so specialized she had to create her own vocabulary, her new word… Materialecology. What does that mean? As far as I can figure it means she has a Doctorate in Beanbag Chairs. That’s OK though, because I understand that UConn is giving out PhD’s in Comic Books . Personally, I’m planning my dissertation around seducing seafood… not the seductive nature of seafood, but rather the practice of shellfish seduction.

Speaking of seduction, back to Neri. She straddles the scientific and art world with her tactile installations of breathing buildings that not only look good, but I’m guessing, feel good too. So she’s thinking about breaking down the ideas behind building… well buildings and developing the kind of design paradigms that would give Frank Lloyd Wright a chubby. Personally, all I can think about is her beautifully sculpted alabaster jawline, her full bodied and untamed brunette mane and her impeccable taste in dinner companions.

So in closing and in the interest of continuing the theme from this year’s World Science Fest, the closest nekkidness I could find with a common name was the Italian Scream Queen, Rosalba Neri. Enjoy and I promise more Hot Scientist Babes in the near future…

Dr. Fiorella Terenzi is an astronomer who doesn’t fit into the usual mold of sky-gazers. So much so I had to ask myself “Is she for real?” She must be since you can buy 8″ X 10″ glossies of her face on her website. That’s right, another gratuitous self-promoter, but I guess you need to hawk everything you can to keep up her jet-setting lifestyle.

I mean SERIOUSLY! Who does she think she is, Buckaroo Bonzai? She runs around the world playing scientist, kung fu artist, recording artist, and social diva. She keeps company with celebrities and has composed with the likes of Herbie Hancock and Thomas Dolby, even Timothy Leary has drank this girl’s Koolaid.

She is relatively famous for making astronomy an aural experience, taking the spectral measurements of space and translating them to sound.

As for the experimental nekkidness there is only one Fiorella that can match the personality of this astronomer and do it bare-assed. That is the surreal Fiorella Saeda, she has the out-of-this-world features that compliment this otherworldly scientist.

I hope you enjoyed the World Science Festival and thank you for taking part in this experiment…

When you discuss String Theory, which I’m sure you do on rainy Saturday afternoons, you can’t go long before discussing the work of Dr. Amanda Peet. She’s one of the new school of theorists that believe we are actually all holograms, here are her notes on the idea. Don’t laugh, it’s still at least as plausible as a zombie christ born of a virgin mother.

Dr. Peet is a little camera shy, and I’m sure this picture doesn’t do her justice. However, I know within that mousey exterior lies a real sexy tiger, ready to pounce. And pounce she does, like I, she is an ardent supporter of women in science as such I’m sure she would be excited about having an Erdos-Bacon number approaching Danica_McKellar. Of course that’s based on Dr. Amanda Peet having the same name as the castrating bitch from the movie “Saving Silverman”.

That brings us to the nekkid part, as the other Amanda Peet is far less shy, there are several naughty pics to choose from. The comic is from the geeks over at Abstruse Goose with a little photochopping literary license on my part. .

There is some irony to this however as there is an active child vaccination feud between actress Amanda Peet and one Jenny McCarthy, who I had mentioned with regards to metallurgist hottie, Jennifer McCarty. I’ll tell you right now, the girl with the gun above is definitely the more rational.

When I first started checking out Dr. Newman for this experiment, I had flashbacks to Buck Rogers and the hot little Captain Dearing, not because they look anything alike but it was the first time I thought of space as potentially sexy (well OK I lied, there were those Orion slave girls on Star Trek).

You see Dr. Newman is a Professor of Aeronautics and Astronautics and Engineering Systems at MIT and her thrust is making space or extraterrestrial suits more functional and form fitting. End result, She’s well on her way to making space SEXY, just like Erin Grey!

Example 1:

This is Dr. Dava in her Sexy Space Suit, now if you’re thinking like me, you are wondering how do you pee in this thing. If you aren’t thinking like me you are wondering if she plans on wearing her Asics sneakers on Mars.

Now I know I promised a sexy nekkid girl with the same first name, but I guess there aren’t a lot of women named Dava running out and getting nekkid on the web. So instead I give you hot Vulcan scientist Jolene Blalock riding Buck Roger’s Ship.

If that’s not sexy enough, call management.

Today’s Hot Scientist is Kirsten Sanford, holds a B.S. in Conservation Biology and a Ph.D. in Molecular, Cellular and Integrative Physiology from U.C. Davis. Now when I say that Dr. Sanford is busy, it is no exaggeration. She’s a radio host, a contributer to The Skeptic Blog, and supposedly is producing her own web TV Show. Dr. Kiki isn’t trapped in some lab clinking beakers together, she is getting out and putting a pretty face on neuroscience. And what a pretty face it is…

But seriously I should probably put up a more flattering picture because Dr. Kiki isn’t just a hot ass Brain Brainiac, she’s also a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and would probably love to beat me up. (I would let her, I hear TKD artists are really flexible, rawr.)

But we’re here about the science and Dr Kiki is too, she regularly hosts a radio show called “This Week in Science” which isn’t as dry as it sounds. Check it out, she’s as fun as she looks!

Now for the obligatory nudity! Here’s some irony… There is this hot strawberry blonde who is running around the web showing the world where she keeps her extra brains with the same name, Kiki Sanford.

Imagine that…

In commemoration of New York’s World Science Festival, I am going to work REALLY hard and pump out a full week of relatively famous hot babe scientists. In the past I have shared my mild fascination and celebrated the attractive women of science to somewhat mixed reviews. Since then I see that others have taken the standard and have run with it. I am proud of their efforts, also I think more scientists should tart it up for us.

As I am a bit of a self proclaimed amateur scientist myself, we’ll be doing a little science here ourselves… using the Scientific Method (of course):

My Science Experiment!!!

Observations:

• We know most published post-graduate scientists google themselves incessantly
• We also know the gears and tubes of the internet are solely lubricated with porn

Hypothesis:

• I will continue to be unappreciated for my sacrifice for science as I expose audiences who thought the sole purpose of the internet was for porn to the exciting world of SCIENCE!!!

Experiment:

• Each Hot Scientist will be featured in an appealing and positive light.
• In order to ease searches, each post will be coupled with a nekkid broad with the same first name.
• Each post will maintain the integrity, brilliance and levity of this satirical author.
• We will monitor comments and email for death threats and cease and desist orders.

We’ll provide you with our Conclusions after our week full of experiments!

For example:

Joanne Manaster is a Biology professor of some type, she lectures about organelles and all kinds of molecular and tissue science. I know, I’m totally digging her tissue too. Anyway, I’m not sure if she has her PhD, nor do I know if she does any real science but it really doesn’t matter since this is an example and Joanne herself is a gratuitous self promoter. So say hello to her, International Supermodel Scientists need love too.

She should not however be confused with Joanie Laurer, who is gratuitous in several VERY different ways. Although on second thought, not getting confused might be harder than I thought. I mean look at these two, they are EQUALLY HOT! Especially if Ms Laurer is kneeling in fur with a DMB Ameoba bikini slapped on her little Lily Garden. See, I know science too! Bonus: I finally found a use for the Dave Mathews Band

Yup, practically indistinguishable from the other Joanne.

Let the Science BEGIN!!!!

In an attempt to not show that my not-stalking could be little more than idle fascination, I give you another smart broad to ogle at, may I present…

Jennifer HooperMcCarty Ph.D.,

Hot Metallurgical-type scientist babe.

Jen, if I may be so casual, studies tensile strengths in metals, specifically the rivets of the infamous Titanic. If you’ve been living in a cave for the last hundred years, the Titanic is one of the largest spectacles of Heavy Metal to ever rock straight to Davey Jones Locker. (For the record Maddox, there will no further mention of The Monkees, or the gratuitous use of the word RIVET for all you Industrial music fans).

However, I will make it clear that this smart tart is not to be mistaken with sexy goofball, Jenny McCarthy.

(Hard to find clothed shot, someone buy this girl a shirt)

Jenny McCarty’s Titanic Hypothesis is that the big, bad company, Harland & Wolff was in such a hurry to finish the Big Ship that they used substandard metal in the rivets. She wrote a book about it and also appeared on the Colbert Report to hawk her science packed tome, but I’ll save you some disappointment by saying there are no hot bikini pics of Ms. McCarthy or Dr. McCarty in this book. You’ll have to ask her hubby for those. Perhaps the ole “Do you have any nekkid pics of your wife” trick will work.

By the way, there is also the implication that untrained workers contributed to the faulty application of said rivets, including several Rosie-style Riveters. That’s right Ms. McCarty might be responsible for setting the blue collar sexual glass ceiling just a little lower. She did however supply a little Windex for the ladies by saying it was probably also the Irish.

Oh Yeah. A little piece of trivia which is probably useless but still topical. When I was in St. Nazaire, I was told by a local food proprietor that the SS France was actually designed upon the discarded hull of the Brittanic, the sister ship of the Titanic which was also a hospital ship and not absorbed into the Cunard Line with the rest of the doomed White Star Line. Today I find with a simple Wikipedia search that the HMHS Brittanic is over 1500 miles away as the crow flies, sitting in 400ft of water off the coast of Greece. I am now deeply distraught as I’m not sure whether to believe the highly esteemed Wikipedia or the bumpkin Frenchman who thinks putting a head of romaine lettuce on a pizza makes his coastal food dive more cosmopolitan. I guess the only thing the French are good at is making pastries and surrendering.

So in Closing I’d like to thank you,

Ms. Jennifer HooperMcCarty Ph.D.,

for making metallurgy sexy without the use of one blowtorch.

It’s (NOT) true, I (HAVE NOT) taken to internerd stalking… I guess this is what happens when I don’t have a bar to drink at and take to scotching it up in front of the intertubes. I imagine I’m pretty harmless as a stalker since I have the attention span of a squirrel. It will take every bit of concentration just to finish this post.

But seriously, I was watching History Channel’s ‘The Universe’ which I tend to put on for background noise. I’ve learned that it makes almost no sense to discuss astronomy with anyone in the bible belt as most people here have a hard time trying to quantify where their Christian heaven would reside in a universe that extends beyond our own atmosphere.

So as astronomers postulating on the scales of millions of light years droned on, this hot little biscuit came on the screen. Suddenly she was speaking my language.

She tried to spice it up by demonstrating the gas emissions of a quasar with two blowtorches. I’m afraid to admit, I might have had an emission of my own. There was something about a hot female astrophysicist with blowtorches in both hands that made me involuntarily touch myself. I reached climax right about the time she started discussing the dissipation of the accretian disc field of a quasar while holding said blowtorch.

It’s not my fault, girls with blowtorches are HOT!!!

Note scientific example:

However, Hot female Astrophysicists with blowtorches are goddess-life.

So… thank you Amy Mainzer,

for not only making astronomy interesting and easy to digest but also making it…

Damned Sexy!!!