Inspired Today

I grew up watching sick television, from slasher movies and ‘Faces of Death’ videos to disturbing internet videos (let’s face it, midget porn is weird). I feel like over the years it has stolen a small piece of my humanity, to the point that I just turn away now when I know something gross is going to happen. I just fear that there will come a day when it doesn’t shock me.

I just watched 15 minutes of the most vile television I’ve ever seen. Some truly sick individual stood in front of a studio audience in a silk pink tie bragging about all the luxuries in his life. Then, in the boldest move I’ve seen since George Bush flew onto an aircraft carrier to declare the end of the war over half a decade ago. This pitchman then proceeded to use the Bible to blatantly extort $1000 from each person. His logic was CRAZY, but his delivery was all Billie Mays meets Jim Jones. This Dr. Mike was straight God ponzi to me.

“Jesus said what you give in my name will be returned to you thousand fold” At this point he started seriously talking about providing a small $1000 seed to his ministry to reap this unreal multiplied harvest in the future. SERIOUSLY! I’ll stand here right now and say you have a thousand fold better chance of realizing a return by giving your $1000 this Saturday to the Powerball Lottery. The wealth he is bragging about having is your $1000, don’t get it? OK, send me $1000, I’ll be glad to don a pink silk tie and mock you on television just like this snake oil man.

This wouldn’t bother me, but there is this whole other correlation with the recycling of the Mayan calendar perhaps giving these charlatans just enough credence to scare the same people who thought Obama being elected would bring on the anarchy. This Mayan calendar is nothing more than a very complicated way of counting to 5000. Hey, here’s a little hint, If the Mayans could predict the destruction of the earth, perhaps they should have started by predicting the complete destruction of their civilization and culture. Nothing is going to happen on December 21, 2012 that is any more extraordinary than the beauty and wonder of some new product to shill on TV.

I have had enough, this sensationalism has driven me to action. Humanity has to have a rational counterpoint. A forum and clearinghouse to defend rational people from the dogma and fundamentalism shoved down the throats of people just trying to find a little fellowship with his fellow man/woman/etc… I’ve finally decided that there is no choice but to don my collar and dust off my Certificate of Ordainment and take on the calling of…

the Right Reverend Uberbastard